Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize