i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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