Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
