and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
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Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
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I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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