Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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