Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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