i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think I am morally bankrupt
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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