Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
this beer tastes like vomit already
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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