Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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