5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
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so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
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Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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