ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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