so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
