wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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