we have pet lesbian snakes
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize