i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
