so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
