her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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