fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
