had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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