I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
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Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
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Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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