Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
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Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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