You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
