The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
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I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
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I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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