He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
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Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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