lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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