How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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