dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Naked Twister starts at high noon
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
