I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
