she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
