...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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