Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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