I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
