I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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