We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize