I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
