Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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