I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
