You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
