Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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