It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
