But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
