okay pat passed out under dana's car
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
