Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
