Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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