I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
