i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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