I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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