Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
being pregnant is like rehab
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
