Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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