I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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