How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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