I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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