I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
