He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
