Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
