She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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