When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Randomize
