Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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