yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
