I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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