i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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